A Facebook chat

I had a facebook chat with a friend, rather publicly on a link I had posted. In case this friend is reading, there was nothing wrong with the discussion AT ALL, it just caused me to reflect and think.

I think, and maybe I am misinformed, but I am speaking from my experiences over the last several years... As I said, I think that there are some misconceptions about Congenital Heart Defects.

The heart is very mechanical, for lack of a better word. The fixes for many of the congenital heart defects are also pretty mechanical. When people ask about Bronwyn, I laughingly say that the conditioned wasn't fixed but that she's been jerryrigged. I elaborate that the plumbing of her heart has been adjusted. Now this is a gross over simplification, but, people don't understand the complexity of the situation, so I don't bother most times.

The most common misunderstanding is that after her surgeries she has been "fixed." Well, she has in a way, but not in a cure kind of way. There are some CHDs that can be cured by a surgery but many surgery is just part of the on-going treatment.

Many kids have issues with other areas of their heart of other organs all together.

What I have found tough, is that even if you find a child that has the exact same set of conditions as another on paper, the journey they take can be extremely varied. It is the unknown element. The little missing piece that decides whether a child can flourish despite their condition or whether they struggle.

What this is I for one don't know? I do know that if medical people could figure it out they would. They would love to see ever CHD case be a success.

Do I have answers? No.

It is just part of the complexity of these conditions and it bears discussion. Discussion and awareness are always a good thing! Always.

Brag a little

I didn't ask permission to share this news story. But... I think I'll just do it and apologise if I have over-stepped. We are pretty proud of Josh and his teammates!

Oh the drama!

There are certain things you are exposed to as the mother of daughters that you likely never deal with if you only have sons. I am not sure these things are worse or better, but they likely involve more drama.

Today was Bronwyn's dress rehearsal for ballet. Full costume and make-up. Now, if I was a normal mom who got up in the morning and did my face and hair this wouldn't have been such a big deal. But, I don't do my hair, I have a touque for that. And... I have gone from wearing make-up only on Sundays to only wearing it for funerals and weddings. As a result I had to go buy make-up for Bronwyn. I couldn't use six year old mascara on my lovely child (even if I'd use it on myself  - ahem).

I took the list of required items to the store. The red lipstick was a bit of a problem. I mean, what kind of red? So I searched until I found one called - RED. Not passion red, or cherry, or very raspberry bloom. No it was called red! No one could accuse me of getting the wrong colour that way. I picked blush the same way, it was called Light Pink.

So I dropped a substantial amount of money at the drug store on make-up for my girls. Yes, I got a few items for Mari too. If I hadn't there would have been even more drama!

The girls were soooo excited to have make-up. I threatened them to leave it alone and that they were never to touch it, Mommy was the only one who could decide when and how it was to be used.

I gave myself a lot of time to get the girls ready. Mari is in the junior show but she still needs her hair in a bun and the tiniest bit of make-up (just a bit of blush). Hair was the easy part.

Bronwyn was just shaking with excitement and kept asking if she could get the make-up. I said no, took a deep breath, retrieved the bags of contraband and sat down to collect my thoughts.

I had her sit on the coffee table in front of me and I very carefully started to apply a bit of foundation (as the instructions required). Then a light dusting of powder. So far, so good. In fact, this was a bit fun. Then Bronwyn said, "OK, Mom are we done now?"

The bubble burst as I said, "No honey, we have just got started."

Next, the eyes. Eye shadow not so hard. Eye liner trickier. Had to redo some of the eyeshadow to help cover the mistakes made on the little fidgety eye lids. "Not that again." Sighed Bronwyn. We were apparently never going to be done.

So, now the thing I had been dreading all day. Mascara! A light hand, careful so careful. Almost there. Oooohh, not bad if I do say so. I put the sticky thing down and Bronwyn unused to the feeling lifted her hand and rubbed her eye! I yelled, "No, don't touch your eyes." She started and started to cry. Now I yelled, "No, don't cry." She shut her eye and smeared the now wet makeup all over.

It was at this point that Wes walked into the house.

This is what he overheard, "No crying, stop. If you don't stop I'm going to pull you out of ballet and put you in soccer. There is no makeup in soccer!" Finally, after a few deep breaths we both calmed down, we washed up the offending black smudges and started with touch ups.

I pulled out the eye shadow and she said, "Not that again."

Finally, it was Mari's turn...

Winter fun

I downloaded some photos from my big camera and was shocked by how many photos I have actually taken lately. Here are some winter fun shots. Gavin has been enjoying playing street hockey with his dad. Mari likes to chase the ball - she's part golden retreiver.

Wes & I took Bronwyn and Mari skating today while Gavin was playing at the neighbors. Mari has really never been on skates before so this was her first shot at it. Bronwyn hasn't been on skates since last year. I was seriously proud of both of them. They did great!

 

 

 

Recent conversation

I had this conversation with Mari just before Christmas.

Me - Mari, lets go into this store so we can get Robbie his Christmas present.
Mari - I know what we should get Robbie.
Me - What?
Mari - Flowers.
Me - I dunno honey. I'm not sure Robbie would be thrilled to get flowers for Christmas.
Mari - He would.
Me - No. Mari, sorry but we are not getting him flowers.
Mari - Mommy?
Me - Yes.
Mari - Why do I have such an old Mom?
Me - Well, I guess I'm just the age I am. You are stuck with me.
Mari - Mommy? Why do I have such a mean old mom?
Me - Mari? Why do I have such a mean daughter?
Mari - I'm not mean, you mean.
Me - (to myself) I am not having this argument with a four year old! (to Mari) OK, come with me, lets go shopping.

I thought I'd wait at least until the early teens for these kind of conversations. Oh well.

Just thought it was kind of a fun story.

Last post of 2012

2012 has been an interesting year for our family. To be honest, it is not a year I would willing live through again. It was stressful both personally and financially. But am I sorry we lived through it? No.

As I have said after many other struggles in our life, while I would love to undo the painful parts I likely wouldn't as they are what shapes us and makes us who we are.

The "house" dominated our lives last year. Wes was absent most of the year and all of our efforts were poured into that one endeavour. It was very hard on many fronts. I always suspected my husband could do wonderful things with a home if given a chance. The reward I have gained from this last year is confidence in Wes. Now I don't suspect he is good at this, I know he is. And I am very proud of him. I am proud of myself for managing our rather tricky family finances throughout that time. I am proud of my parents for their unfailing love and support. They really truly are exceptional people.

Sorry this is sounding like an award speech.

I guess this year proved that we still have much to learn as a family and as individuals. Did we do everything right this year? No. But we continue to learn and journey. The trick in life is not to think you are ever getting to a point where you have arrived or reached the height of wisdom. Cause as soon as you hit that spot you look up and see another mountain.

I am thankful. We have been richly richly blessed. Our family is healthy and intact. We have lived yet another year with each other, growing and learning.

I was telling Wes this morning that I am thankful God has placed him in my life. Life can be a troubled road and I have been blessed with a wonderful traveling companion. This is truly a blessing.

So, what does 2013 hold for us? No idea.

But bring it on, cause God is with us and he is steadfast and he will sustain.

Annual Christmas card

I have once again failed to send Christmas cards. So here is our virtual card. The photo session was rather painful as several of our children (all but Bronwyn) were not interested in being cooperative. At least we are all together!

We would again love to hear from you - so if you can leave us a greeting in the comments, even if you don't know us. Its a global village and we'd love to hear from you.

God bless you all this Christmas season. May you have peaceful, joyful and safe holiday.

Long weekend, sort of

Wes is taking tomorrow off. We haven't had a long weekend as a family in a very long time. So I am excited. Mari has school and we have to go for parent teacher interviews for the older two. But by 11:30 all that will be done and it will be all party for the Davis family.

I will make it my mission to take photos this weekend.

I am frantically trying to get caught up and organized for Christmas. I am normally way ahead  of the game. I think by this point last year I had all my presents and they were all wrapped and most that needed shipping were already shipped. This year... not so much.

I'm blaming the house project, although that excuse will only last so long.

We are having a quiet at home night tonight - just what the doctor ordered!

Christmas Excess

This is the time of year the conversation with the other parents at the school yard turns to Christmas and the preparations for Christmas.

The first hurdle is usually trying to explain what I have against Christmas trees. Its not that I don't like them. I just have a very small house and there is already 5 people crammed into it. Can you blame me for not wanting to introduce a massive blinking flashing tree in the middle for us all the navigate around. We will do it, just not in November!

The subject of gift giving always brings up interesting questions. Do our kids need all this stuff? It feels so excessive? Do you struggle with the materialism and glut at Christmas? These are the kinds of thoughts and questions that I hear coming from the other parents and have thought myself.

Last year while discussing this with one of my good mommy friends it dawned on me. I think our kids do need to receive presents at Christmas. I think it is a good thing. I remember the joy of getting gifts at Christmas, the excitement, surprise and happiness. That experience has enriched my experience as an adult. My joy at giving to my kids far exceeds their joy. I can hardly sleep the night before Christmas! As a child I had no idea that my parents likely felt exactly the same way.

Now, you must realize that we still do Christmas very modestly. We are not big spoilers! I don't believe in foolishly spending money, particularly if one doesn't have it. But, the cost and size of the gift doesn't matter - trust me on this one.

Our kids have started the process of maturity. It starts with learning to enjoy receiving gifts. To truly understand this pleasure will give them greater appreciation when they give gifts. They will grow to be givers who know the pleasure they are giving.

I sometimes caution myself not to expect my kids to be more mature than what they are. I can't expect them to embrace the idea of giving at an adult level. Nor can I expect them to know that excess is harmful to them. I just have to control those areas and help them enjoy what they do receive.

So, although I may have well published issues with Santa Clause and Christmas Trees I do not have issues with gift giving and receiving.

Maybe it is the very thing to help us focus on what was given to us. The best gift ever. One we could never aspire to give but can only be grateful to receive. Grace.

Amazing news

I borrowed this link from a heart group I belong to on Facebook.

I was absolutely amazed. This to me seems the stuff of science fiction. I am beyond thrilled that they are able to explore this and I wish them great success. Wouldn't it be wonderful for future parents of children with HLHS or single ventrical syndrom to be able to say their child was cured!

Wow!

A right of passage

When I think back to my childhood it seems that Halloween was usually snowy. If not snowy, at least very cold. Maybe it wasn't every year but I don't really remember any warm trick or treat outtings.

So now, my kids finally had the opportunity to go out for the neighborhood candy-fest in the snow. Good memories for them too. This year, against our usual custom, I went out with the kids and followed them around. It was good fun.

Mari stood and chatted at almost every door. She stopped and waved and chatted to almost every other person we met as we strolled. It was a great opportunity to meet people, according to Mari. What a girl!

On another front, the new owners took possession of the Wildwood house today, so now we no longer own two homes. I have said it before and I'll say it again, I am very proud of what my husband accomplished.

A song to share

Today is Gavin's birthday and Halloween. And I am thrilled to get to celebrate these lovely childhood milestones with my family. What a blessing. We will have a party for Gavin on the weekend.

I have been listening to Shine FM more lately. Mostly because I have discovered that my children are starting to comprehend some of the lyrics to songs that I'm not sure are appropriate. Thanks to the M&Ms commercial Mari runs around shaking her wee bum and yelling, I'm sexy and I know it. But she says it so fast it sort of sounds like - I'msixtyandwoit.

I heard this song on the radio and it really touched me. I have been through a bit of a struggle lately. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't equate it with the more serious struggles in life, no one was ill, no one died, but it was a struggle that hit me in a spot of great weakness. I am sorry to say I didn't always rise above it, nor did I always handle it well. And although I may be a disappointment to myself I also now wonder if maybe that is the point. Maybe we shouldn't always be above our struggles. Maybe it should be hard sometimes. Maybe this is how we grow and learn.

So I'm not perfect. Whew. Glad I got that out of the way, cause I'm not sure I was fooling anyone anyhow. And I'm pretty darn sure God doesn't expect me to be perfect, after all that is why he sent Jesus.

Absentee

Wow! I have not been writing on my blog lately. It is unpardonable but not without excuse.

1. We have been very busy.
2. I have been having a nervous breakdown.
3. I haven't been particularly keen to share the details of my nervous breakdown.
4. I appear to be very good at nervous breakdowns.
5. OK, I think that is about it...

The big house project we undertook is almost over!! It is conditionally sold and the conditions will be removed by Tuesday if all goes well. Then the possession date is early November.

I am very proud of my husband and what he has done. So on to the next chapter of our lives. Praying it will be a peaceful one! YIKES!

God bless you all and thanks to all of you who have remembered us in prayer it means so much to us. More than you can know.

First days

Yesterday was the first day of school for Gavin and Bronwyn. I was pretty nervous. Bronwyn is going to be full days now - big step for Mommy. For the first time since she was born I won't be with her for big sections of her day. Doesn't make me nervous at all (insert fake laugh here).

Everything went well. Mari is insisting that I sit with her and watch her shows. I think she misses the others and so Mommy now has to be her playmate. Which is only fair, since I make her run all sorts of errands with me.

Gavin decided he might like school this year. This would be a BIG step for him. I'm just holding my breath to see if it actually takes.

Bronwyn chattered non-stop about her first day when she got home. So excited.

 

The girls also had their first ballet classes last night too. Mari was so excited about that too. She is finally getting to do the things that her big sister has done for years. Such a big girl!

 

Mari starts on Friday, she is so excited. She has already decided she loves her teacher and that her teacher loves her. Which, is actually kind of true, since it is the same teacher that Bronwyn had and she can't wait to have Mari!

I know fall is when all the leaves start to fall off the trees and winter is looming, but for me it is always new starts and wonderful things. I believe this fall will be wonderful for the Davis family. Lets wait and see.

I need to take pictures

My apologies, I have been just horrible about taking pictures lately. I hope to get a couple soon and post them. But for now...

Bronwyn had her yearly cardiology check-up yesterday. Everything is great. I suspected there were no problems as we haven't been seeing and worrying symptoms, but it is wonderful to have the confirmation.

We have less than a week left of our summer holiday. Soon we will be back to the routine. I am excited for the kids. Bronwyn can't wait to be back at school. Mari is super excited to start preschool and Gavin, well, he is resentful and not keen to go back. Oh well, two out of three ain't bad I guess.

The girls will both be doing ballet this fall and Gavin will continue with karate. We are taking a break from piano and other activities. We had such a crazy summer, Daddy was so busy that I figure we need to get back into things slowly. Maybe spend some evening time as a family.

August has just zipped by. Not sure I'm ready for school, but here it comes ready or not!

Bronwyn is six

I intended to take a picture of our birthday girl. In fact, she was organizing a photo with her brother and sister when she got knocked in the nose by accident. I took the shot but she was, by the time my finger pressed go, in full cry. Not appropriate for a birthday shot.

Will try to take and post one tomorrow.

I can be easily emotional for any of my kids birthdays. There is so much to be thankful for, so much to remember of our joy when first meeting each one. Bronwyn's birthday has a bit more drama and emotional baggage wrapped up in it. But then we are so keenly aware of God's blessings for the same reason.

All I can say is we continue to be thankful for her. Each year.

Swimming lessons

We are mid swimming lessons. The kids have finished off one week and have one more to go. I am so thrilled with how they are doing. Bronwyn is putting her head full in the water and enjoying it!! Gavin is starting to show signs of early front crawl and backstroke. And Mari, well, Mari agreed that she would stay with her instructor today so she made some strides too. She has no fear and gets a bit bored with the other three year olds in her class and likes to make her own fun. I spoke to her about it and she did so much better today.

We are still having a pretty quiet summer. Taking advantage of playing with friends and hanging around the city. Wes is still working pretty flat out, but hopefully only for a few more weeks! We miss Daddy, but we are so very very proud of him.

Hope you are all having a wonderful summer too. God's blessings.

Sick a bed with my feet out the window

My Grandpa used to say that - no idea what it means, but I have been sick. The whole family got sick. Mari first and then as she got better the rest of us fell. I was last to go and last to recover.

This has created a certain amount of difficulty and well, enlightenment. Mari has been rather unsupervised. And I have figured out who is responsible for 95% of the mess in this house.

I tried to talk Mari into being useful, "You can be our nurse." I coached her. She started grabbing at her sister and trying to pull her out of bed and as Bronwyn refused she yelled, "I'm the nurse, get up now!" Later she came to be and gently stroking my brow she leaned over and looked in my eyes and said in a rather jaunty voice, "How you boy?" As my Mom said, not sure the health system could endure her.

Good news is almost everyone is on the mend. I am hoping I'll be in the pink tomorrow. Rather ticked off that I wasn't fine today actually. Bit of a nuisance this sick stuff.

Oh well. Nothing to be done I suppose. The sooner I'm better the sooner Nurse Mari can retire.

Why I think I'm a farmer

I have long felt like I am a farmer. Well, not a real farmer but a sort of "kindred" farmer. Let me explain.

I have a list of reasons that I think qualify me to be a farmer.

1. I have a killer farmer tan.
2. I prefer to give directions east and west rather than left or right. (I realize that my motives for doing this are different than your average farmer - I personally can't tell my left from right so it is easier for me).
3. I have a little patch of garden - a few peas, tomatoes and beans - which I like to refer to as my crop.
4. I have a problem throwing anything away that might be useful.
5. I know some farmers and I like them so that kind of makes me an honourary farmer, sort of!!
6. I helped my cousin sell carrots at a farmer's market once when I was a wee girl. Was pretty good at it too if I can remember correctly.
7. I can tell the difference between wheat and barley (well not bearded wheat - haven't the foggiest how to tell it from barley).

Well, OK, so I'm not a farmer, I'm as urban as you can get. But... I will confess that I have a huge admiration for our farmers. These people have taken on a job and a lifestyle that has many inherent challenges and why do they do it? Well, they would have to answer for their own personal motivation. But what I do know is that someone has to provide food for the people of the world. It is a noble calling.

When I go to the grocery store and pick out my bread or my produce or my meat I am often unaware of the lives behind these products. People who run great risk of investment, isolation and mercy of the weather to make sure I have food for my children. It is for these people, these families and their choices I give thanks! God bless all our farmers!

Happy Canada Day

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