Putting off posting

I have been putting off posting. I have been very conflicted lately about writing an update. We have been so busy that there is almost too much to report. And my inner thoughts have been a bit all over the map lately.

I think the anxiety of just waiting to hear from Edmonton about the surgery is starting to rear its ugly head. We've been pushing so hard to get somethings done at home here so we can bring Bronwyn home to a comfortable situation. Yet there is so much to do.

I for the most part don't think about the next step. I have a philosophy that I don't want to think about anything until I have to. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit it isn't in the back of my mind. When people ask me what plans we have for the summer I just say - well we can't really make any plans we are just waiting. Or if they don't know Bronwyn and her condition I just say - no, no plans.

I mean really it shouldn't be a hard question - Wes and I aren't planners any how. We talk wildly about doing things but never seem to get around to focusing on it. Once we get the work done on the house that we currently have going I want to take a break and just live for a while.

My heart has been saddened by events around me, many of which we have no direct contact but which give us great pause and concern.

I have delighted in watching my kids as well as others start the business of summer fun again. It really is lovely. Our neighbors little guy Isaac was watering in his back yard again - just thrilled to be out and free to move and explore - what a gift and what a joy to watch.

If you asked me what my feelings are I'm not sure I'd be able to answer. I know tired isn't a feeling and yet that is the predominant state for me. It is getting better though. I'm not bizarre tired like I was a month ago. Just good old fashioned worn out now.

Don't get me wrong my life if filled with joys. I am so thankful for what we have and for our blessings.

Right now we are in move forward and don't think about anything too much phase. I'll likely be there until Bronwyn is well in the clear.

So you see this is why I haven't been posting. Fluffy reports seem somehow empty and deep thoughts to hard to corral.

I do have some lovely pictures on my camera - when I get a chance I'll post some.