The problem with platitudes

Our world is full of them, platitudes. Sayings that typify or answer a great question. You've seen them - if you've ever been on Facebook. Usually written on some lovely picture, for added inspirational value.

Here are a few I have heard over the years:
 - God never gives you more than you can handle.
 - What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
 - Whenever one door closes another will open.

Here is a story about a platitude that I have more respect for than the above mentioned. "This too will pass." Let me talk about the last one, as an example of my issue with platitudes. When I was in University and I would be all bent out of shape about something, my Grandma used to say. "This too will pass." And I'd grind my teeth and huff under my breath. Because at the time I didn't understand. I was young and I had no idea that there would be a time in my life when I could care less what I got for a grade in eighteenth century restoration fiction.

Now! Now... I get it.. well, at least I understand more than I did at the time.

Some times we say things to help encourage others. We mean well, really we do. We often don't know what to say and we sure as heck don't know how to fix the problem so we start looking for silver linings, ways to encourage. And this my friends is beautiful in itself, the motivation is always good.

The problem is that sometimes these things can ring empty. But we still need to say them, because we care and we are helpless to do anything else.

I have had several conversations lately where I have been at a loss for words. Friends whose lives have taken such complicated turns that I wouldn't know where to start. So I default to platitudes. Ughhh!!! What the hell is wrong with me!

Perhaps the platitudes are better really because without them my usual repertoire includes things like:
 - Wow that sucks!
 - Go big or go home!

See, as I have said before, sympathy and understanding are not my strong suites.

The problem is that we can't answer the problems of life with a saying or a statement. Our worlds are messy, our worlds are complex. The answers can't be simple and pre-planned.

For me, I am discovering (too bad I'm a slow learner), that I am a better friend when I stop trying to help and just simply listen.