Thursday, November 26, 2015

Pondering how my Mom thinks about her Mom

Today my Mom told me a story. She had done something that reminded her of her own mother. She laughed and said, "I guess I am getting to be like my Mom."

It caused me to think about this phenomenon. Many women resent the idea that they might be "turning out like there mothers." Not that they think their mothers are bad, but I think we have in us a need to be our own person to not just be a continuation of someone else.

Until our mothers are gone.

Then it seems women yearn for connection with their own mothers. They see them in all the little ordinary things.

It points to this wonderful and yet complex relationship we have with our mothers. The longest running and some could argue the most influential relationship we will ever have. Sometimes these relationships go through periods of change. Times where the relationship is redefined.

For example when I went home to work after my first year of University my mother on more than one occasion poured tea and only set out two cups, even though there were clearly three of us in the house. She had adjusted to all her kids being gone and two was her new norm. I had to adjust to this new framework and learn to get my own damn cup! HA.

As my mother ages I see in her a longing for connection with her mother. A growing understanding perhaps, now that she herself is getting older. In her there seems to be a growing acceptance to the idea of the great influence her mother had in her own life.

It is, from my perspective a beautiful thing.

I hope one day that I turn out just like my mother!