Merry Christmas 2018

I realize that I am now the worst blogger ever. But here is our annual Christmas picture.

No promises to be better! Just a picture.

Change can surprise you

Just before Christmas my parents told me that they had decided to downsize. Their house, which admittedly large with a  huge yard, was becoming more work than they wanted. Seems rational.

They began the process of de-cluttering and packing to get the house ready for sale, they listed and in fairly short order sold their house and found a new house to buy. Then the packing started in earnest.

I went over to help one day while the kids were at school.

For starters, my parents have moved a lot! I mean a lot. And I have never been emotionally attached to a house, expect perhaps the house in Hinton as it was so beautiful with a great view. But still, not that attached.

I was caught off guard by my emotions. I was unable to figure out why I was so upset. At first I thought it was because they weren't willing to move closer to me. But, no that wasn't it, maybe a little, but not really.

Then I realized that their house had served as a place of sanctuary during the hardest times of my life. There home was the one place I could go, with my very medically fragile young baby and just relax. The day our trip to Edmonton for the second surgery was cancelled because of a sniffle, I walked over all the packed bags and threw the kids in the car and drove to Mom and Dads. Once there I left them in their hands and I found a bed and slept. That was quite possibly my lowest moment, in retrospect and my parent's home was the safe haven I needed.

Now while logically I know it isn't the house that makes the difference. It wasn't the house that made their home my go to place to go. But, it is the house that is the backdrop for so many of my memories of my kids.  Not as many as my own home, but still so many many memories. My kids have revelled in the love and relationship with their grandparents in that home.

The new house will have new memories and most importantly Grandma and Grandpa are still there. But, its still with a bit of sadness that I close that chapter of my life.

It makes me feel surprisingly sentimental, something I'm not used to feeling.

My prayer is that my parents will be happy and healthy in their new home and that we will continue to build so many memories.

The winter that never ends

Its April 12th and its snowing. The odd snow storm in April is not unheard of, particularly in Calgary. The difference this year is that winter hasn't yet left. Its not like we are having a mid spring snow storm, its another continuation of a snowy miserable winter.

I am starting to feel resentful and angry.

I think I'll start wearing flip flops in protest. I don't even wear flip flops, I hate them, but I think something has to be done. And as our friends in Vancouver have proven protesting is a great way to put a stop to something you don't like. So I'm going to try it too. Maybe I can stop winter in its boots.

The fine balance

We have a little girl with a heart condition. We watch her, but we want her to have an interesting and full life. Most people she interacts with either don't know about it or forget. This is how we want it.

But its a fine balance.

Her brother and sister started skiing several years ago. She didn't want to ski. I didn't want her to ski. But, she eventually felt left out.

She decided that she would try snowboarding. It looked less scary to her. Not to me! But to her. The skiers seem to go too fast.

Last year, during her lessons, she spent most of the time on her butt. I thought she would not want to do it again, but she is determined. She was going to give it another go.

This year it was so fun watching her start to get the hang of it. She falls, but we laugh cause we can tell that she is falling because she is picking up speed.

Near the end of the lesson the other day, her teacher had them climb up the hill carrying their snowboards as the magic carpet had stopped. I was loosing it. My little cardiac compromised kid was trudging up the hill at the end of a lesson carrying a heavy board. I almost felt sick to my stomach.

We had to leave as it was time to go pick up the other two, and Bronwyn's class should have been headed back too. But their teacher took them to the freestyle park. GAH!

I collected the other two while Wes went off in search of Bronwyn, whose group was quite late. As we striped off the gear Bronwyn explained that her teacher helped her go over a jump. I was shocked. My little scaredy cat kiddo going over a jump.

She said, "Mom, my teacher helped me, and it was a small jump, and I was really scared. But I did it. I am so proud of myself."

At that moment I realized how fine this balance is and how important it is. And like my daughter I am proud of myself too!