Christmas is almost here

Christmas finally arrived at the Davis house. The tree arrived yesterday and the decorations went up today. And the kids are off school and the presents have all been wrapped and I had my Dad take our annual family Christmas card photo. So here we are. We'd love to have you comment and hear from you where ever you all. Merry Christmas and God bless you all and all your homes!

 

So good

I eat yogurt, because it is good for me. Not because I like it. That was... until I discovered Krema Yogurt. I didn't buy the low fat or no fat version. I bought the full fat flavoured yogurt and GOSH, is it good.


Check it out. Yummy!

Playing with light

The girls posed for me the other day. The light coming in our front window was pretty interesting so we had a quick photo shoot. I didn't even brush their hair!! HAHA!
My son didn't participate, he was sick. We've all been sick. He is just the last one to go through it - poor boy!

Here are a couple shots of my girlies.

In remembrance

In my mind I still see it
The kind old face
The wire-back chairs

I feel it
The hot sun on my skin
The wetness at the back of my neck

I smell it
The faint waft of tropical flowers
The strong smell of a cigar

The smoke from the cigar circling up gently
The grey haired man smiling gently
His voice soft

I also remember the warnings
NEVER ask your Granddad about the war
DO not talk about it

Yet here we are
In a quiet garden
Thousands and thousands of miles away from his home country

Surrounded by his memories

He shares his memories
He speaks softly
without bitterness
with wisdom

I feel so blessed
My young heart not even truly recognizing the value

I'm so naïve
Life hasn't hit me yet
Heartache is a concept

He shares his memories

My mind swims
Some things I can see, imagine
Some I can't

...

Time has passed
I'm older
wiser
a bit more scarred

And yet I've never lived through a war as they did
But we've had our own battles
Our own losses

Now I remember

I sit in my home with my children
surrounded by noise
distraction
and I remember

An old man who shared

Special visitor

We had a very special visitor this week. My cousin Coleen came to see us on her way to Houston. I realize it doesn't seem like we are a logical stop on the way to Houston, but I guess if you are coming from Africa you are close enough.

I was enjoying my time so much that I neglected documenting it with photos. The kids actually got more photos than I did. Here is one of the kids and Coleen taken last night, unfortunately it is a bit blurry, but well...

It was such a joy to get to spend sometime with Col. It is such a rare occurrence when we get to spend time with our Africa family that it is extremely precious! We are very thankful that she went out of her way to add us to her excursion.

A poem I wrote and decided to share...

There are scars

We are often asked:

Will they be there when she’s older?

Will she feel bad about herself?

Will she try to cover them over?

We will teach her about her scars

Where they came from

What they mean

We will teach her to be proud of herself

To honour these marks

Evidence of her recovery

To me these are not scars

It is a badge of honour

A mark that sets her apart

A visible sign of what God has done

We all have scars

Most are not visible

We have a choice

See them as marks of hurt

Or see them as our path to victory

How God healed our wounds

You may ask yourself

Will my child have scars?

Yes

And so will you

 

Roberta Davis

I am truly exhausted

I had the great privilege of going to a conference for the past three days. It was an annual conference of pediatric hospitals in Canada. And it was an experience, an intense eye-opening experience.

I was quite simply overwhelmed by the depth and breadth of health professional who attended and shared their great passion for sick children and their families.

I did not present, I occasionally contributed, but only in the smaller group settings. I was an outsider. I wasn't one of the in-group, but I was also their focus in many ways. Family centred care, how to help parents, how do we serve our patients and families... I felt like the soar throbbing toe that while insignificant is getting a great deal of attention.  Maybe that is a bad analogy because it sounds negative.

Really it was an extremely positive experience, but... and there is a "but." But, it comes at a cost.

The nurses, administrators, doctors, researchers all discuss and share their thoughts with enthusiasm and passion. They feel excited by the discussions, challenged and encouraged. I remember how that felt from my professional days. The meetings where the client was reasonable and articulate, the creative staff was on their game and we were able to guide the discussion to places of success and direction. Wow, exhilarating.

But, even though I can appreciate this and even though I could enjoy the discussions my experience hangs on my shoulders the whole time. My emotions, much to my horror hang only inches below my surface calm. My thoughts fly from thought to thought some of which are more productive than others.

And I know I'm not alone. All you have to do is check in with the other parents. If you say, "Wow that was draining." They look at you and nod with great understanding on their face. They get it.

It almost feels like the energy required to help better understand how to deal with parents is fueled by energy sapped from parents. Again, maybe not a good way to say it, but maybe a bit true?

The experience is very hard to explain and even harder to internalize. I need time to process, to file, to sort through all the thoughts.

I can say without a doubt that I am exceptionally impressed with the people who work in our systems. It may not be popular to report this, but they care. They really really care. And they are trying to grow, stretch and change. And that is something that truly blows me away. It is truly awe inspiring.

That so much effort thought and love are being put into caring for children like my Bronwyn. And that so much interest is expressed in how to help and better support parents like Wes and I... well honestly it is humbling. Exceptionally humbling. I have no words.

So I'll stop there.

Wonderful fall weather

We have been basking in a wonderful Indian summer. Super lovely weather. The kids have been enjoying it thoroughly. My garden is nearly all cleaned up, but the leaves are still falling, so no rush on those.

Being an advocate

I attended a meeting recently and was introduced to the mostly research and health professional crowd as a parent advocate. I was quite surprised to hear myself introduced that way. I would have likely used the words "unusually outspoken and opinionated" instead, but advocate sound so much better.

I don't actually think of myself as an advocate, but if I am what does that mean. Perhaps my willingness to share our journey and be honest about my life and feelings makes me an advocate?

I am quite willing to take on that role but what does that role look like for me?

The best definition I could come up with is the idea of "what's next?"

I am driven to find out what's next for my child, what is next for other children with her condition, and what is next for the families that support these children. For me treating their condition is just the first step. After that is the question, What is next?

So here I go, asking "What is next?"

A light in a dark world

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16 NIV)

I have been thinking a lot about this passage. I've been thinking about being a light.

We live in a very dark world. I decided this morning I would not watch the news. Am I choosing ignorance? No. I have just had enough doom and gloom and darkness. I need a day off.

I need to recharge my light. To figure out how to reignite my inner source of power.

Religions of all stripes are taking a beating right now. They are, if you listen to the undertones, responsible for 90% of all the evil in the world. And yet, I don't personally know many evil people, religious or otherwise. I am daily assaulted by Facebook articles and status' that claim to know me because of my professed beliefs.

My faith is very simple. I need to set all the barrage aside and remember who I am and to whom I belong. I believe in being a light to the world. I believe in living love. I believe in forgiving others and myself (cause I make plenty mistakes).

So I decide that I can be a light. What does a light do?
 
It can offer hope. Like a window light in the distance to a person lost in a dark wood.

It can offer help. Like a lantern being lowered down a well to a small child who has fallen and is being rescued.

It can throw light on a situation. It can expose a problem, like a flashlight in the hands of a plumber looking for a leak.

Comfort and hope are found in love. But the light isn't the fix. The one to whom the light belongs is the fix.

How do we fight darkness in the world?

All we can do is live our life giving light where we can. At least these are my conclusions - you may disagree and that is OK with me too.

A Jane Eyre moment

If you have read Jane Eyre you'll remember the scene with the big tree. If you haven't read Jane Eyre, there is a large tree by which Jane & Rochester "come to an understanding," or in a more corny version "confess their love." After which, there is a storm and the large tree is hit by lightening and destroyed. It becomes the foreshadowing event for their relationship.

I had a Jane Eyre moment this morning. On Saturday Wes made the kids a swing.

It started like this. I heard the girls playing and very excited. Mari came in the house looking for her bike helmet and said, "Bronwyn and I made a swing. Daddy said we can use it if we use our helmets." I figured that meant it wasn't the best of structures.

Before too long Wes had gathered a few materials together and made them a very rustic tree swing.

Oh my they were happy! So excited.

 

 

 

I was a bit concerned since that tree isn't the strongest in the world and I was sure the very large branch/trunk would come down on their heads. I had a sense of foreboding. Well, I could claim foresight if it wasn't for my usual pessimistic anxiety.

The kids think their dad is a super hero when he does stuff like that for him. I thought he was a super hero cause he finally cut the grass in the back yard! I cleaned out the gardens, the kids picked apples. We brought in everything we could since we were hearing that our temperatures might drop below freezing. Some people even used the "s" word.

Sunday was beautiful and hot, +27, but we were at Grandmas so our gardens just enjoyed the day off.

Monday was rainy, cloudy and cold. By the time the kids returned from school the snow had started and they insisted on playing outside. I wouldn't let them play on the swing in case the extra snow might make the tree unstable.

Tuesday morning there was snow everywhere. Wet heavy snow. As I came into the kitchen I saw that two of the largest tree branches were down. On across our deck and one over the fence into the back alley. This became a concern since I wasn't sure the garbage trucks would get by (Tuesday is garbage day). Wes went to rent a chain saw from home depot. I went and took a picture of the poor wee swing laying on the ground.

First day of school

I know spring should be the season on new beginnings but for me it has always been fall. I love fall. I love leaves and harvests and the smells and the crispness. I love it. This year it does seem to have come rather quickly, but I still love it.

And for the first time a very long time I am alone, not for the whole day but for part of the day I'm alone. All by myself! What to do...

Gavin is in Grade 5, Bronwyn Grade 3, and Mari Grade 1. So I have a partially empty nest.

I am terribly tempted to run errands so I can drive by the school at recess and spy on them. Creepy? Yes, I know I probably wont. Probably.

Sigh, a new chapter for all of us.

Saskatchewan trip

The whole Davis family, including Wes headed off to Saskatchewan for a short visit. We went all the way to the eastern edge of the province, and we made many stops along the way. In fact our first pee break was in Strathmore!

Jon and Cindy have been asking us for ages to come to their cabin. So we finally made the trek. Jon took us out on the lake in his boat the kids showed us their knee boarding skills. Gavin agreed to give it a try (much to his parents shock). He didn't get up on his knees but he hung on well and did a great job. Bronwyn was most emphatic about the fact that she did not want to do it. Mari did want to try but Uncle Jon refused to let her until she could swim better.

The following day we back tracked and drove to Fort Qu'Appelle  for a family reunion of sorts. I forgot my camera (well the one with a charged battery - ahem) so I have no pictures, but it was great fun. Gavin hit it off with Kellen my cousin Ian's oldest. Mari continues to talk about "that girl, you know the one who lives on the farm and has a broken arm." (AKA Aunt Mary)

We got home from that trip exhausted and determined never to leave home again. The kids loved being with Robbie and Carissa so it was a big hit and they are determined to go again. Yeah!

Yesterday we had the wonderful pleasure of a visit with Wes' niece Lilly. OH WHAT A CUTIE!! She is so unbelievably cute! We so appreciate their visit.

And now...

one more day before school starts. Sigh!

Mountains

Just in case you thought that there were only Davis children in Jasper (and Banff).

A few more pictures

I couldn't resist. We just had so much fun!!

Jasper trip

We have just returned from Jasper. We had a wonderful time. Our only sadness was that Daddy couldn't come with us, so we were a bit disappointed with that, but such is life.

Here are a few quick pictures - I took so many its hard to decide. We went with Mom and Dad again and I cannot say enough about what wonderful sports they were! Simply wonderful.

It is so great to see the kids enjoying a place where I spent so much of my childhood. Its quite a lovely feeling.

We are home now and very tired. Off to bed!

Busy July

July has been terribly busy for us. So. Much. Going. on.

Here are some pictures of the kids.

First day of summer break

Dad took the kids fishing. It was a bit too windy and far too weedy. But they didn't care. After all, the girls spent the first 15 minutes throwing rocks in the lake. So any fish that may have been in the area were looong gone. They are learning and dad is very patient with them. Which is so fun!