Maybe because I'm 40

I got myself an ipod for my birthday. And to my surprise I brought it home opened it up and it didn't have a manual of any kind. No operating instructions. So I had no choice. I had to hand it to my six year old and ask him to show me how to work it.

So I'm now 40

Today is my birthday. I'm 40.

Not sure what that means. Doesn't upset me at all. Age never bothered me. I don't feel as though I have wasted my time on the earth thus far. Although, catch me most days and I'd scream that I never get anything accomplished, but in the big picture I know those things are usually not terribly important.

I looked in the mirror, trying to decide if I am old enough to have to start wearing makeup. I always felt like young women shouldn't wear makeup since they really don't need it. The bags under my eyes would make me think its time, but maybe that is just the sleep deprivation that comes with having kids at the age of 40. Maybe 50 is the makeup cut off.

My parents are making a lovely lamb roast for dinner. Jon came (Cindy and kids are away) and Wes is on his way out too. Makes for a pretty special evening. I love lamb.

A friend emailed and said she wants a report on what I plan to achieve in this next year, being a momentous year and all. Hmmmm. I always have plans, but I'm not much to stick to a strict schedule. If I was being married to Wes has beaten that out of me. So, shoes for school, ballet shoes for Bronwyn, a new bike for Gavin... these are on the list of to dos. And I have already accomplished two of the three today.

One thing I have learned - set the bar low and you will be more likely to achieve it. Not sure that is the kind of life lesson I should be sharing.

I don't have particularly deep thoughts on this Big day. Guess I'm happy I made it to 40. I'm excited to see what is next in life.

Time to eat? MMMmmmm.

A few pictures

Here is the birthday girl and a picture of the cake. Bronwyn was very specific that she wanted a pink cake with a crown on top. Because it was pretty simple I decided to try using fondant. I bought it - didn't feel up to trying to make it. Don't look to closely. It worked but fondant is likely a more technically demanding icing than I should use, so my inexperience shows BIG TIME.

Bronwyn had her yearly cardiology appointment this morning and she is doing... AMAZING. We are so so so blessed. Dr. Harder said she is the most amazing case of HLHS that she has followed. We are thrilled by her success and are keenly aware of how much worse our lot "should" be.

Gavin is busy playing Mario, he is still in his pajamas. I was hoping to have him go play with one of our neighbors this afternoon since he asked to do that yesterday, but he seems unwilling to get dressed. So there you are.

Mari is (and I'm crossing my fingers as I type this) hopefully having a nap. She doesn't always nap lately. But she can't make it without one, so it makes for a messy late afternoon nap. Seems every kid goes through this. She also does something most other kids do - "Why?" ALL THE TIME.

I frustrated her the other day. I was putting her in the car and she wanted to do her belt and I said, No its too hard. She asked, Why? I said, Because. She said, No me. So I said, Why? She looked up and said, Huh? I said, Why? She replied, Why? I said, Yeah, Why? She said, No. I said, Why? She said, No you why, me why.

The summer is unfortunately winding down and I am starting to make lists of all the things I need to do for school and all the other activities. A rather long list. The one thing about making lists is that if you have no ability to make them happen they just frustrate you. Hmmmph.

Bronwyn turns five

So our wee girl Bronwyn is five today. I will post some pictures when I get the chance. She was very excited and had in her words, "the best birthday ever."

I can't help but take a trip down memory lane on my kid's birthdays. I am always stunned at how much they have changed and grown.

I guess the visit to the past is a bit more emotional for me when it is Bronwyn's birthday. So much of what has become 'our journey' as a family dates back to her arrival. It is hard not to be quite sentimental about it. In fact, there was a time when I didn't dare think about whether she would even make it to her fifth birthday; let alone be starting kindergarten in a normal school as a normal kid.

I can't take this kind of a trip down the roads of our past without being very aware of the hand of God in our lives. Have we struggled? Yes. Has it been hard? Yes (frankly, harder than it has looked) Has God provided? YES. Every time we have needed him, maybe not in the way we expected, maybe not when we expected, but Yes he has, and our cup has run over too.

It is hard to explain, just as it would be hard to put words to your own journey. We could swap details about our individual stories, but the real value in life and living it is in all the bits that fall between the cracks. The way your soul and heart change through trials. I guess what I can say is that I am today a richer person than I was five years ago.

God has blessed us. We are thankful. I wish in a way I could go back into the past and tell my former self that everything will be OK and that she will be a beautiful five year old one day. But then the journey wouldn't have been quite the same. So I look to the future with wonder and hope.

God bless and keep our lovely sweet girls and our best boy.

Tired out

The kids started their swimming lessons yesterday. I was able to book a class for Bronwyn and one for Gavin both at the same time, but it is a bit on the early side. It has worked out great as one of the mom's from a couple streets over has her boys at the same time so I have someone to chat with. Her son is in Gavin's class in fact - very nice coincidence!

I love Southland Leisure Centre, they let Mari splash around in the kiddie pool while her siblings are in lessons. So she gets to have a swim time too. I have to follow her around which is a bit boring, but that is where the nice neighbor comes in handy.

The kids are loving their lessons, but they are tired. We have also crammed in a fair bit of play time with friends as well.

Oh, and we went to Superstore this evening to buy a new barbeque. I have been saving the gift cards from their buy over $250 in groceries and get a $25 gift card promotion all winter. And their barbeques were half price. We basically only paid the gst on our new barbeque, well that and the few other bits and pieces that we got tonight.
By the time we got to the check-out, waiting for someone to help us was the hardest part of the adventure, I decided we should go through the self check out since we had a big barbeque in tow. Mari was losing it, so Wes took her out to the van. I then started to wonder how to I get a cart with two kids and a barbeque out to the van. Oh, and once I'm at the van, how do we get the barbeque in it. Hmmmm. All things we should have considered.

The nice gal at the self checkout helped me ring in the barbeque as I had no idea how to do it. Now I had to start doing the other bits and pieces, which after some struggle I figured out. Nothing like trying something new when you have kids around. Then I pressed ready to pay. OK, scan the gift card. Oh, its beeping. OK try again. Wait for attendant, oh... OK. Um, can you help me again. So the nice girl takes over my payment options and helps me out of my current pickle. So glad she is so capable.

By now Wes has come and taken the other two children out to the van, which I presume is close at hand, cheekily parked in a handicapped spot by the front entrance. As I try to leave the dolly with the barbeque starts to give me grief, in fact I have no idea how to use the bleep bleep thing, it wasn't its fault. The nice gal tries to help me again but this is beyond her expertise. Thankfully a young man knowledgeable in the ways of dollies walks by and assists us, in fact, he offers to help me to my car. Good man.

Now how to get it in. Wes empties the van of all the bikes etc, but it still doesn't fit in the back.We get creative and we get the box in and we are off. I take a seat in the very back with Gavin and worry while Wes drives home safely.
Once home Mari is no longer in tears, in fact, she is perched on top of the barbeque box, insisting that is where she wants to sleep.
Average night out I suppose. Don't stare!!