We live in a society that favours the strong, the winner, the fit, the healthy. We live in a society whose notion of success is based on evolutionary teaching. You are strong, therefor you survive.
Our strength is our power. You've heard the sayings; "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger;" "When the going gets tough the tough get going."
We succeed and or fail based on our own inner worthiness. If we are at the top we can pat ourselves on the back. If we happen to be at the bottom then we are to be pitied.
Even Christians are guilty of this thought pattern. The prosperity gospel is just a 'churchified' version of this same mentality.
I suppose this all works. Until it doesn't.
I was watching a show the other day. Its a show where blacksmiths compete to make different types of swords (I'm going somewhere with this, be patient).
There is a great deal of skill involved. The metal must be heated and cooled and the process repeated various times. The process of heating the metal can make it very strong, if done right. But a slight error in length of heat or the bringing down of the temperature to quickly can in fact weaken the metal.
I mulled over this for hours!
Getting personal here, I guess I feel that our experiences in life have taught me many things and have made me wiser and more empathetic. But, I also feel that they have weaken me. Our struggles have introduced fear into my life in a rather large way. I struggle with fear. I feel that some of the things we have gone through have left large hidden cracks in my life.
So what do I do with this?
Frankly the world and the answers of society have nothing for me. Pick yourself up and move on. Get yourself a hobby. Focus on your strengths.
None of these ideas are bad but none will heal a hidden crack. Nothing society offers, no advice, no guidance can heal the inner hurts.
I was telling a close friend the other day how stressed I was feeling and she finally said, "Why don't you do that prayer thing you do."
I read a lot, I watch a lot, I think a lot. But for me nothing makes more sense than trusting God and allowing Jesus to transform my life. I don't have to figure out how to heal my weakness. I just need to admit it and rely on God.
I'm broken, I'm weak.
I'm OK with that.