I don't have nerves of steel, in case you were wondering. But my nerves have been through the ringer lately.
Shortly after Bronwyn's last echo, in November, her cardiologist called and left a message. She explained they were concerned about her right ventricle function (right side of her heart). For those of you who can't keep up with her strangely jerry-rigged system, the right side is essentially all she has. So to hear that she was "mildly concerned" about the function of that muscle was a bit alarming.
She was quick to explain, in a later conversation, that it could well be from post-surgery trauma. But we would just watch it. We also put her back on one of the meds that she was on before her surgery.
So this has been weighing on my mind since November. I have tried, valiantly, to not get carried away or too worried. I have reminded myself it was not a crisis at this point, just a concern, that may end up being little more than a post-surgery glitch.
I was, as we left for the hospital this morning, very nervous. Scared in fact. I kept imagining in my mind what the outcome might be (always worst case scenario - why? You don't have to prepare yourself for good news!). It might mean a change in medicine, or a cath? I wasn't sure.
I watched as the tech did the echo. Straining to try makes sense of the grey and black blobs, trying to see and predict what the problems might be. I would bring myself back to reality as I stared in the face of my beautiful, pink cheeked, little girl.
When the doctor walked in I wondered if she'd keep me in suspense for long. She quickly said, "We looked at the echo and her right ventricle function is beautiful." I didn't kiss her, but I wanted too. I didn't started crying uncontrollably but I wanted too.
I drove home feeling 1000lbs lighter. The sun was shining brighter, the birds chirped louder (at least I imagine they were as I whizzed by in my van).
The moral of the story, is that when you have a child that has a serious underlying condition even a mild worry can drive you to distraction.
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7 comments:
Amen! I'm so happy to hear that there is nothing to worry about and that Bronwyn is doing so great! Big hugs to you from us!
Kim
Great news! I can only imagine how you felt but am soooo happy with this outcome! Hugs...f
I was on the edge of my seat reading this post this evening. I didn't know what the outcome would be and even I feel 100 pounds lighter!!! Oh my word! I did not know you were carrying such a burden, Roberta. I am so so thankful for your good news.
Cried over this one. You are such a brick. But I know stuff lurks in the background. Bless you, you are a great Mommy and a strong warrior.
This is wonderful news! Your family is beautiful and strong.
I'm glad that things turned out well.
I pray for you often and miss your smiling faces. Love you guys.
Brenda
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