Some pictures

I'm too tired tonight for words - but here are some pictures. The tree is our crab apple in the back yard - I love it at this time of year. Another picture is of Mari getting caught up on the crossbar under the coffee table - silly little goof loves to climb through there.

Oh ok one fluffy kid story

OK - so here is one story about the kids.

I called Bronwyn for supper the other night. She came in and protested that she was not Bronwyn but princess.

I said - Bronwyn get up to the table.
Bronwyn - no, ma no Bronwyn ma princess.
Me - Bronwyn, I am not calling you princess. Time to eat.
Bronwyn - WHAAA HAAAAA (major melt down with many tears ensued)

Later I told my Dad this story. He laughed and then said - really what harm is there in humouring her, she is only 2 1/2.

Indeed!

Putting off posting

I have been putting off posting. I have been very conflicted lately about writing an update. We have been so busy that there is almost too much to report. And my inner thoughts have been a bit all over the map lately.

I think the anxiety of just waiting to hear from Edmonton about the surgery is starting to rear its ugly head. We've been pushing so hard to get somethings done at home here so we can bring Bronwyn home to a comfortable situation. Yet there is so much to do.

I for the most part don't think about the next step. I have a philosophy that I don't want to think about anything until I have to. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit it isn't in the back of my mind. When people ask me what plans we have for the summer I just say - well we can't really make any plans we are just waiting. Or if they don't know Bronwyn and her condition I just say - no, no plans.

I mean really it shouldn't be a hard question - Wes and I aren't planners any how. We talk wildly about doing things but never seem to get around to focusing on it. Once we get the work done on the house that we currently have going I want to take a break and just live for a while.

My heart has been saddened by events around me, many of which we have no direct contact but which give us great pause and concern.

I have delighted in watching my kids as well as others start the business of summer fun again. It really is lovely. Our neighbors little guy Isaac was watering in his back yard again - just thrilled to be out and free to move and explore - what a gift and what a joy to watch.

If you asked me what my feelings are I'm not sure I'd be able to answer. I know tired isn't a feeling and yet that is the predominant state for me. It is getting better though. I'm not bizarre tired like I was a month ago. Just good old fashioned worn out now.

Don't get me wrong my life if filled with joys. I am so thankful for what we have and for our blessings.

Right now we are in move forward and don't think about anything too much phase. I'll likely be there until Bronwyn is well in the clear.

So you see this is why I haven't been posting. Fluffy reports seem somehow empty and deep thoughts to hard to corral.

I do have some lovely pictures on my camera - when I get a chance I'll post some.

Indoor weather

We are trapped in doors today. For the third day in a row. It has been miserable rainy and cold. So we are all inside. In fact, Gavin didn't go to preschool today. I kept him home. Bronwyn is sick. Not too sure what is wrong with her. Just keeping an eye on her. So we are at home!

Wes has been instructed that he is to come home and wrestle with Gavin or take him out or do something to burn off some of his energy! His life depends on it!

Mari is kind of fussy today too. She isn't taking naps well and I just can't hold her all day - this appears to be upsetting to her. Poor little tyrant. Mari is also very close to crawling. She gets on her knees and rocks back and forth and then lies down. She just has to figure out how to get one forward at a time and she'll be crawling. I'm not sure I'll notice as she is a very fast creeper and gets around pretty darn quick already.

I am hoping tomorrow is a sunnier day. I think we'll go see the grandparents - a bit of a break!

The real mother's day

Yesterday was my real mother's day. The actual mother's day was a bit of a bust for me. A nice day - but not exactly a special I feel pampered day. I basically chased the kids at Mom and Dad's while Wes, Jon and Dad watched hockey. So you know...

Saturday Wes worked. But yesterday was lovely. We have had a really low key weekend. After church we went for Chinese and then kids slept and when they woke up I took them to the neighbor's to play while Wes fixed the kitchen sink. We then ordered pizza and had a great visit with some really great friends. We are so blessed to have such wonderful neighbors!

Today Wes worked but came home early. The Mackenzie's came for supper and again we had a lovely visit.

This felt like mother's day - so I'm happy!

We've also been enjoying playing in the basement. The lights aren't all in and the plug ins aren't covered and their are lots of touch ups to do on the paint and the baseboards need to be put on - but wow its nice to have the extra space. Wes has done a really fabulous job - I am very proud of him.

Dancing queen

I asked Bronwyn after Gavin's first soccer outing if she would also like to take soccer. She responded that she wanted to take "princess class." So I offered that in lieu of princess classes maybe she could take ballet when she turns three. As inviting as classes that would actually teach her how to be more of a princess are - gulp gulp - I think dance may be more productive.

She is sooooo excited. She practices her ballet around the house. The other day at Grandma's Gavin was singing while drumming on every plastic container Mom owns. They were both singing - I have a cute video of that too. (They are in their pjs cause I always put them in pjs before we leave - they don't dress like that all the time).

Gavin started singing a song for her to dance too. Not exactly sure what language it is but who wants to quibble over details.

I missed the really cute part of the dancing because my memory card was full so I had to go through and delete some things so I could take a bit of video. It ran out before the grand finish.

What talented kids I have eh?

Life continues

We are continuing on here same old same old. Tonight we decided to go to IKEA. Because dragging tired, hungry kids who need a bath out instead seemed a great plan. Seems unfair that we make these decisions regardless of how they are doing and then get upset when they behave badly. Really not fair for them.

We are making progress in the basement. The next job is getting the office (general junk room) cleaned up so we can turn that into a little room for Mari. Then I can put her in her crib and just let her cry and cry and cry - oh I am so heartless! She has bullied me long enough her time is soon up! Tough talk I know. The reality will likely be far more wimpy.

I got the kids little shirts for mother's day. Gavin's says - Mom's #1 fan, Bronwyn's says - Mommy's Canadian Princess, and Mari's says - I love my Mom. Gotta toot your own horn in this world.

Well - I need to take my tired self to bed. I'm too tired to even do my cross sums. Pretty darn exhausted.

Mother's day thoughts

Wes told me once that he thought that having children was the best decision that he (and I together) ever made. It was simply put - but he is right. These three wonderful little humans are our joy.

I love being their mom. I know they know that I love them and their response to that love is pure. I trust that God will protect them and I have to let them live life. I rely that one day they will realize that I am not perfect and for now will just forget my failings.

I write this knowing that I am not the only mother who feels these things.

I am so encourage by all the wonderful examples of motherhood that I see daily. I'd like to give a big cheer for Moms everywhere! Thanks for the light that you are in my world.

Sweet little boy

Today at Gavin's preschool they had the mom's come early so they could have a little Mother's day party. They sat us down on their little chairs (some say "have a seat", I say "half a cheek"), brought us cake and juice. They then had a couple songs to sing for us and then gave us a calendar they have been working on since mid April.

Gavin was beaming. He kept watching me while he was singing and he had the biggest silliest grin on his face. It was SOOO sweet. Obviously the other mothers felt the same way. Several were wiping tears from their faces by the end of the second song (not me I was raised to be unemotional and callous).

There isn't much that would make this Mother's day nicer at this point.

Ahhh, my little boy - I just can't believe it! He's growing up.

We laughed

Bronwyn often tells me stories that end with - "and we laugh and laugh."

Today Grandma Joan came to visit and brought the kids their Christmas presents (I know I know). Anyhow, Gavin opened his and wanted to open Mari's but Joan wanted him to wait until Bronwyn got up from her nap for that. So he went and dug out a colouring book of Bronwyn's. It has a princess on the front and has been buried under stuff for quite a long time.

He gave it to Joan and told her that she could give Bronwyn that. I found that very fun and was teasing Joan that next year at Christmas I'd come to her house and check out her house, find something I like and then "give" it to her. And we laugh and laugh!

Anyhow, then Bronwyn got up and Gavin showed her the colouring book while she opened the other gifts. She walked around hugging the colouring book and thanking Joan for it over and over. Joan insisted she was happy to take credit for the gift. Again - we laugh and laugh.

I also find myself laughing a lot over Gavin's interpretation of a Home Hardware commercial. They have a little jingle - Home owners, helping home owners. The other night in the van he was singing that little song like so - Home homers help me home homers. So help me I can't get that out of my head. Ahhh - so cute.

Any way - I have to go to sleep.

Weekend fun

We were camping at Mom and Dad's this weekend while Wes sanded the floors in the basement - we are getting closer - hurray. It was such a nice stay, a great break from reality for me. I still have a great amount of sympathy for the generation that doesn't want to leave home - why would we!!

We are home tonight and everything is covered in dust - EVERYTHING! Oh well, I didn't have enough work to do - so this is actually a good thing.

Wes has done an amazing job so far - I have such a talented and smart husband.

Speaking of smart and talented, on Thursday and Saturday night Mari slept for at least 6 hours - pushing 7. Crazy great eh? My Doctor suggested starting her on protein early to see if it would help her sleep better - something to do with her iron levels. Well, both of those nights she had pureed ground beef and carrot. She had it again tonight and if she sleeps that well tonight that may be all she ever gets to eat!

The little picture of Bronwyn was taken at Mom's. She is wearing a little outfit that Mom and Dad were given when I was a baby. It is from India. Oh, and she doesn't have rabies, Mom lets Bronwyn have her Tums.

I am off to bed, hopefully it will be a longish sleep.